Archive for the ‘Family Lore’ Category

Posted on January 28, 2010 - by Cate

Meeting the In-Laws

We had been dating for a few months, seriously, and I was certainly smitten. He was outgoing, charming, and handsome. An Italian American, he reminded me of my East Coast heritage and it felt very comfortable and familiar. One day in October he asked me if I would like to meet his parents?

Meet the parents were ringing in my ears as I tried to focus on his face. What did that mean? What do you mean, what does it mean? I asked myself. Everyone knows that means something! Doesn’t it? (more…)

Posted on January 18, 2010 - by Cate

The Vomit Vacation

I was in the zone — a cross between Martha Stewart and Gloria Steinem. I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan… Everything was falling into place.

I found myself planning a luxurious summer vacation — reserving ten days, not the usual seven. Not this time. There was a little extra cash in the kitty, so I opted for a ritzy condo complex with all the whistles and bells; a towering white stucco building with aqua blue shimmering pools both indoors and out.  It so happened that my youngest, Erica Rose, would be celebrating her birthday while we were there. I was able to shop, wrap and ship the gifts down in advance of her big day as well as order her birthday cake from a local bakery. Oh yes, I was in the zone. The MOMMY ZONE. (more…)

Posted on December 30, 2009 - by Cate

A Memorable New Years

New Years Eve, 1983:  I was living at home and going to school, finishing out my last year of college. We had just arrived home from a disastrous Christmas in the Caribbean. The first and only time we had ever spent Christmas away from home, we as a family had agreed that instead of presents that year we would treat ourselves to a week in the sun. The first few days were SO bad, we voted to come home for Christmas in spite of no gifts. But that’s for another entry.

It helps to set the scene for New Years, though. To say we were tired, frazzled and disappointed would be an understatement. So you can imagine that when my friends, sisters Michelle and Katie, who were also commuter students to Butler University, called to plan a New Years Eve “on the town” adventure, I was more than a willing participant.

What to wear, where to go, could we get in, who would drive, were all questions we girls enjoyed answering and we threw ourselves into the planning. Because we were commuters, we didn’t have the built-in social life a dorm or sorority would have provided. In other words, this was exciting stuff.

On the big day, I had my hair done, bought new makeup and a new outfit just for the occasion. This was pre-cell phone and since we were all living at home we needed to keep the ‘rents informed of our plans. Michelle would drive. It was damp and drizzly out, not snowing per se, but a definite chill. The dress coats, hats, scarves and gloves were in order for such a night. Big mall hair would have to have extra spray in order to hold.

It was the norm for them to be late. I sat in the living room looking out the window waiting for the platinum blond (think Madonna) and brunette (who always wore red lipstick) to arrive. As I saw them pull into the driveway, I jumped up and made a beeline for the door. I waved to them as I made my way down the walkway.

I went to open the door to the back seat and realized it was locked. Katie twisted around in her seat to unlock it and then subsequently open the door. Just then I realized I had forgotten my gloves.

“I’m going to run back in and get my gloves!” I shouted through the crack in the open door.

I shut the door and turned to run back down the walkway to the front door.

All of a sudden I heard screaming. I turned to see Michelle reaching around toward Katie. Both were facing the back of the car and Katie was screaming bloody murder. I really didn’t understand what was going on, but I did notice that the car was still in drive, Michelle’s foot was not on the brake and it was rolling toward the house.

I started running down the walkway, screaming and pointing to the house. Michelle was screaming and pointing to Katie’s hand which had gotten caught in the door when I went to run back into the house. By the time I reached the back door to relieve Katie, Michelle had crashed into the house, specifically the garage, demolishing the door. In fact, she was basically parked in the garage by the time her foot hit the brake.

Michelle sat there, dumbfounded. Katie was in pain. And I was vacillating between the absurdity of the situation and having to explain it all to my father. We had not even left the driveway and our big night was over. To further add to the irony of the situation, Michelle and Katie’s dad happened to own an insurance agency. He was not amused.

“Where are you?” he asked Michelle.

“I’m at Cate’s” she repeated. He was clearly confused.

“No. Where in town did you have the accident?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you Dad. I ran into Cate’s house…” (oh boy)

“What do you mean, you ran into her house?” he asked, incredulously. “You just left!”

I felt badly for him. You just can’t make this stuff up.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Dad. Katie’s hand was stuck, and I was trying to help her and my foot came off the brake and we ran into her house.”

“No, Dad we haven’t been drinking…there hasn’t been any time…”

As Michelle heard herself, she started to laugh. It really was funny.

“No, I know it’s not funny, Dad. I’m sorry, it’s just that, well, it is kind of funny. It was actually comical.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that,” Katie said tersely.

“I am sorry, Katie,” I said, “about your hand. I had no idea I had shut the door on your hand…”

My dad stood there in disbelief as well. He had come up from the basement (man cave) at the sound of all the commotion. We were collectively reluctant to put both dad’s on the phone together. But it had to be done. Additionally, we knew we would never hear the end of it from our brothers. And we never did.

Postscript: I know most people worry about getting home on New Years rather than getting started. After reading my cautionary tale you might be tempted to stay home, but if you do elect to go out, be careful, drink responsibly, designate a driver, and girls, watch what happens to your drinks and who serves you. While we rarely go out, we do try to stay up for the ball drop, a toast, and phone calls from distant family and friends. Have fun ringing in the New Year!

Posted on December 12, 2009 - by Cate

My Irish Uncles

My two Irish uncles, my mother’s brothers, have a special place in my heart. Two men, born and raised during the depression who served their country during and after World War II, raised families, worked hard and now, during their retirement find time to spend time with me.

My earliest memories take me back to Philadelphia in the 1960’s. My parents had moved us to Indianapolis but made the road trip back to Philadelphia several times a year. My mother wanted to maintain close ties to her family and wanted us by extension to understand and enjoy those bonds as well. (more…)

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Cate

A Turkey Held Hostage

I’m wondering if holiday sharing is a common phenomenon among married couples. My husband and I have, since we married in 1986, traded Thanksgivings back and forth between our respective families.

Both of our families maintained strong holiday traditions. Both expected their children to continue to participate after marriage. Allowances were made once grandchildren entered the scene but only specifically for a few hours on Christmas day.

Early on, this methodology worked for us. It was a fair and even distribution of our much sought after time and attention. But truth be told, some years it was simply the fulfilling of expectations and being dutiful children. On more than a few occasions it caused marital strife.

And so it came to pass that my first Thanksgiving, mine to host and mine to cook and mine to serve came about as a result of family tension. So much tension, in fact, that my husband made the decision to forgo his family’s Thanksgiving. The story has been retold many times however this is the first time I’ve actually written it down to re-tell it in this forum. (more…)

Posted on October 4, 2009 - by Cate

The Case of the Disappearing Toilet Paper

It was dark and cold. My mind was fuzzy, my eyes unable to focus. I shivered as I tried to shake myself into consciousness. I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. What time is it? I wondered. Rearranging the pillows, listening for the familiar sounds of the house, nothing. My window, almost always open, usually offered up the sounds of nature but nothing.

I started pondering the meaning of all this — the lack of anything going on. What time is it? My mind turned to unfinished business. Once my brain kicks in you can kiss going back to sleep goodbye. It’s usually a rehash of the previous day or the “to do list” of the impending day or some big issue hanging over my head that I have yet to resolve to my satisfaction. (more…)

Posted on October 3, 2009 - by Cate

The Great Northern Swing

Thirty years ago, when I was a teenager in the ’70’s, my dad was schlepping his family to at least one different national park each summer during his company’s shutdown in August. These were two weeks trapped in a hot car with vinyl seats (and I was often stuck to them on the long sweaty journeys), along with an irritating younger brother with a knack for trouble, a drill sergeant of a father and, as we affectionately nicknamed her, “Mary Tyler Moore”, my mom. I confess that my recollections begin to blur a bit, but I do remember the feeling of enduring rather than appreciating this gift Dad had given us. Now with time, perspective and a jolt from Ken Burns’ documentary I’m engaging in some revisionist history.

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Posted on September 27, 2009 - by Cate

America’s National Parks: August Memories

To commemorate the latest work of Ken Burns, and in keeping with this blog’s theme, I thought I would write some pieces on the National Parks as I recollect them from my youth.

My father worked for many years, at RCA, here in Indianapolis and the company would shut down in August for two weeks each year. Dad took that opportunity to further a mission he had, which was to make sure that his family had the opportunity to see America’s great national parks. So each year, we would pack up the family car and head out to explore a new area of the country and specifically, a national park.

I can not tell you how much I cherish the memories of those trips and what a gift my father gave us. At the time, I did not recognize nor fully appreciate the great adventures and the planning that went into them. But now, with some time and perspective under my belt, I realize, how invaluable those experiences really were. I am sure that this documentary will resurrect memories of those fantastic journeys.

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